Unpopular opinion: I don’t hate my postpartum body.
GASP! Am I right?
I feel like we, as women, have been trained from childhood to hate our bodies. It doesn’t matter how big or small, short or tall or perfectly in shape it might be, we can find a reason to degrade it.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m still mad at my body for not protecting Shep the way that it protected Eleanor; but I don’t hate it.
It’s kind of like when you’re mad at your spouse, or when your kid is being a little brat, and it rubs you the wrong way. You still love them, you’re just mad right now.
So getting back to my point, my postpartum body, like so many others, is squishy in places that used to be firm. Things are out of place, swollen and sore. I’m living in adult diapers topped with maxi pads because recovering from childbirth is no joke (even the smoothest of recoveries still takes a toll).
….but I don’t mind it.
And not for some cliche reason, like “it created life”.
Sure, it did. That’s cool. I’m happy about that, but I’m not super sentimental like that.
I just flat out don’t mind the extra skin or the leaky boobs. I don’t mind seeing myself in a big diaper anytime I walk past a mirror.
I don’t suppose I have a reason for it. Maybe I’m just older and more accepting of the fact that this is the stage of life I’m currently in. No biggie. Whatever.
Anyway, I don’t have some prolific statement to make here or anything super formal to say. I guess I just wanted to encourage you to love your body too. Be gentle with yourself.
I feel like we’re allowed to be mad at our bodies sometimes, but we don’t have to hate them.
I also feel like there’s a lot of hype around postpartum and newborn baby needs and must-haves; so I wanted to weed out the unnecessary and just share with you the bare minimum of what I’ve ACTUALLY been using.
The hospital will supply you with mesh panties and all of the pad options, so take home whatever’s leftover and use those first! (You or your insurance are paying for them anyway). Those will run out though, and when they do…
Buy the diapers for yourself, not just for baby.
And top those suckers with a giant maxi pad.
And one of these pad-sicles. Especially if you have stitches down there, but even if you don’t.
No shame in that game.
The hospital will also supply you with a peri bottle. It’s totally fine for use in the hospital, and I even brought mine home after I had Eleanor; but with the ones they give you, you’re fighting gravity. (Google it, if you’re a first time mom). I’ve been using this Frida-Mom one, because of the angled spout. Problem solved. Less mess.
If you’re breastfeeding, you definitely want to stock up on boob pads. While I’m feeding on one side, my milk spews everywhere on the other side, and these just help with the mess. (Also, if I’m ever out and about in town and Shep starts crying, or literally any baby starts crying, a leak is bound to happen. It’s weird, but so real.)
I’ve also heard good things about the Haakaa, and while I have one, I haven’t quite mastered the art of not knocking it off of my boob and spilling milk everywhere. It’s supposed to catch the spewing milk while baby is nursing on the other side. Then you can just dump it in a bottle for baby to drink, or store it in a bag for later.
While we’re on the topic of nursing, these pajamas have been so comfy and they have easy access to the boobs for middle of the night feedings. I’m also loving this nursing bra.
These zip up swaddles have been a life saver at night! I’m a self proclaimed terrible baby-swaddler. There, I said it. Shep kicks right out of my swaddles with ease. However, when my aunt gifted us some of these fool-proof swaddles, our world changed. Hallelujah! They even unzip at the bottom, so we can change a diaper while his arms and upper body are still swaddled. It definitely makes for a more pleasant diaper-changing experience too.
We’ve all been loving this sound machine. I’m honestly not sure who enjoys it the most, Shep or everyone else. It helps drown out any background noise at bedtime that might cause you or your baby to stir. We also take this portable sound machine every where we go these days.
I honestly wasn’t sure if the Snuggle Me Organic was going to be worth the hype, but holy cow we’ve used this thing every single day since bringing Shep home from the hospital. Definitely worth the hype and the money in my opinion.
Baby gowns make for quick and easy diaper changes. No buttons, no zippers and definitely no pants! Can I get an amen??
This 4Moms swing was a gift for Eleanor when she was born, and she hated it. (Probably a user error on our part, because we literally never put her down until we absolutely had to, and then she just wouldn’t accept being put down.) Shep, on the other hand, LOVES this thing. He tends to doze off as soon as it gets going.
Our stroller and carseat have been super nice this time around. They were both a bit of a splurge, but definitely not the most expensive option out there. The carseat claims to be super light weight (which is a Godsend, because I absolutely could not carry Eleanor in her carseat when she was a baby), and it lives up to its description 100%! We love it. The stroller is as beautiful as it is easy to operate! Our last stroller was hit or miss when opening and closing, so this one has been fabulous.
Also stroller related, and also a splurge, is this leather stroller organizer that I gifted myself. It holds my cup, wallet, phone, sunglasses, wipes, etc etc and it’s also very beautiful. Here is a more reasonably priced option too, because if you have a stroller, do yourself a favor and grab a stroller organizer.
This 40oz stainless steel tumbler makes upping my water intake a whole lot easier. It’s also dishwasher safe (which is the first thing I check before making a kitchen related purchase) and it keeps my water cold all day long.
Of course we bought tons of other things, because they were cute or we thought we’d need them; but these are the things that we’ve actually been using over the last two weeks.
Sending you all the good postpartum vibes, mama!
Slow down.
Soak it in.
Babies don’t keep.
Oh, and PS if you’re feeling all the feelings these days, I feel like that’s pretty common amongst postpartum mamas; those hormones have to leave us somehow, and tears must be an easy exit. Am I right?
However, if you find yourself slipping into a place that you feel like you’ll never come out of.
A place that feels dark and distant from all the things and people that you love.
Speak up.
Yell.
Cry.
Do anything, but don’t stay silent.
You’re not flawed. You just need help. And that’s okay!
Get the help. Don’t walk that path alone.
Looking back, I was definitely sinking in my postpartum days with Eleanor. I loved her. I loved Leslie. But something was off. I wasn’t myself and I didn’t even realize it at the time.
I just thought being a mom was supposed to be that hard.
This time around is a different ballgame, and I wish that I could yell through time at my younger self to SPEAK UP and ask for help. Life didn’t have to be so hard back then.
And it doesn’t have to be so hard for you either.
Just say the word.
People WANT to help.
